Earlham Echo

Two exchange students enjoying their time in Earlham

November 26, 2024

What were you doing when you were 17? Most of us were engaged in at least occasional worthwhile projects and perhaps a fun adventure or two, but our lives were probably pretty ‘safe.’ Now imagine getting on a plane, flying over 5,000 miles, being away from your family for nearly a year, living with a host family you’ve never met, and going to a school where you don’t know anybody. Oh, and nobody speaks your native language.

That is the reality for exchange students Emilija Rajic and Vladilena Vetrova, both of whom have stepped into the brave new world of Central Iowa and Earlham High School. Ema, from Serbia, and Lena, from Moldova, are here as a part of a program sponsored by World Link, a private non-profit organization headquartered in Kalona.

For both girls, coming to the United States was something they have always wanted to do.

“For me it was a childhood dream,” said Lena. “I was like 10 years old and I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh, I want to go to a U.S. high school so bad!’ I watched all the movies, and I wanted to be here so bad. And then I found out that I can actually do that. I had to take my chance. I had to make my dream come true.”

Ema added, “Somehow it always seemed so far away and it’s not achievable. And then when I found out about the scholarship, I had to take the chance.”

Like many young people all over the world, Ema and Lena were influenced by American culture and thought that life in the U.S. sounded appealing.

“You always watch American movies and shows, and you always see all the interesting stuff that’s going on there,” said Lena. “When you watch, everyone says, “Oh, America is so good. The perfect life.’ And it’s obviously much better than what I grew up with. People just tend to want something better; more opportunities.”

The TV network Nickelodeon is particularly popular in Serbia.

“I watched all the TV shows about the high schools, and the cool kids,” said Ema. “So from a young age I thought, ‘Oh, that’s so cool. I really want to go to an American high school.”

So is Earlham School like all those American schools on TV? Uh, not so much. 

“It is really different,” Lena said with a laugh. “I remember the first day of school it was like, ‘This is not my movie I used to watch. What is going on?’”

While reality turned out to be much different than TV fantasy, the girls were not disappointed, though there were some big adjustments, of course.

“I really like high school,” said Ema. “I feel like education here is not as stressful. School is not as stressful. But just daily routines—for example, in Serbia lunch is our biggest meal. So I’m not used to eating a big dinner. You kind of have to adapt to your host family. They are hosting you and they open their home, and you are supposed to fit in.”

Lena added, “I think it’s different for us. We have different backgrounds. The way we see all these things, it’s still a shock for us and we cannot believe all the stuff that we see. We’re not used to it.”

One of the biggest adjustments for both girls is adapting to rural, small-town life. Ema is from Belgrade, with a population of 1.2 million. Lena lives in Chisinau, with a population of about 500,000. Life in Earlham is a little slower paced than these capital cities, to say the least.

“It’s a really, really big shock,” said Ema. “In Serbia we’re not able to drive until we’re 18, and I’m not allowed to drive here, so it’s really hard without a car here. You can’t really walk somewhere. In Belgrade I used to go out all the time. After school, I’d call my friends, ‘Hey, let’s go shopping, or to this coffee shop or this restaurant,’ because we have so many of them.”

Lena concurs. “The thing I miss the most about the big city, we have a lot of these really cute cafes. I really miss meeting up with friends and going to those places. We would just walk to them, or we have public transportation. Everybody takes public transportation. It’s really common.”

Both girls commented that school in the U.S. is ‘easier.’ Education in their countries is quite regimented without much choice as to the classes they take. Ema and Lena both appreciate the less rigid environment and more holistic approach to education in Earlham.

“(In Serbia), there are no chill days when you go to school,” said Ema. “We have oral exams all the time. They can happen whenever. Teachers don’t have to tell you about them. If students have anxiety about them, teachers don’t care. Here, they will really try to help you outside of school; your personal life. They’ll talk to your parents.”

For Lena, the classes may not be as tough as in Moldova, but school days in Earlham are much more physically demanding.

“School here is exhausting,” she said. “In Moldova, as a senior I would go to school for three hours and I would be done for the day. School would start at 10 a.m. and I would be done by 1 p.m. Here I have to wake up at 6 a.m. to be at school at 8 a.m. until 3 p.m. That is just crazy to me. Classes themselves are much easier. In Moldova, classes are more like college. You just come in, you study, you don’t talk. You cannot move from your classroom; you just stay in your seat. You have to have a lot of discipline.”

Ema and Lena speak excellent English with only slight accents that are easy to understand. Like in many countries in that area of the world, kids learn English in school at a young age.

“All the younger generations start with English in elementary school,” said Ema. “So all elementary schools, middle schools, and usually all high schools have all four years of English. We have English twice a week. People really want to learn English now because they just think it’s essential. Whenever you’re travelling, everybody’s going to know English.”

Lena speaks Romanian and Russian, and she also knows some French and is learning some Italian. Knowing so many languages is great, but it can also be annoying at times.

“It’s such a mess in my head,” she said with a laugh. “I think in three languages.”

Lena also took English in school, but says she learned it more from social media and movies.

American food is always a big adjustment. Both girls miss their favorite foods from their homelands, but they have discovered some ‘delicacies’ here, too.

Lena’s favorite?

“Casey’s pizza!” she said. “Obviously we do have pizza. I thought our pizza was really good. Not until I tried Casey’s pizza. It’s so good.”

Ema said, “I really do miss my traditional meals, the ones that my grandma and mom make.

But my host family makes good meals. Casseroles and things.”

Leaving friends for nine months is difficult, and making new friends in that time can be even tougher.

“It’s difficult,” said Ema. “Especially in a small town. Everybody knows everyone since they were a kid. It’s really hard to get into a friend group.”

Lena agrees. “It was pretty challenging. I feel like now I’ve adapted, and I have friends and I like it. My school was really big. There was a bunch of people all the time. It’s really hard here. Everyone knows you and you don’t know anyone and they’re like, ‘Oh, you’re from a different country? Do you speak English?’”

Lena is a senior and when she goes back to Moldova in the spring, she will have two weeks to prepare for graduation exams.

“In order to graduate you have to take a big exam at the end of the year. It’s similar to the SAT, but the whole country takes it on the same day. It’s in the summer, one time a year. You have one chance to take it; you cannot retake it. You go to this building, so it’s not online. It’s on paper. There are cameras. Everyone’s watching you. There are three teachers in the classroom for like 20 people. They’re going to watch so no one can cheat. It’s basically four exams.”

Lena is contemplating going to college in Italy, and perhaps returning to the U.S. someday.

“Being so far away from home for four months made me realize that if I go to a good college in Europe, I can go home whenever I want. Just being closer to family. Already being in the U.S. for a year, I’d like to take a little break, see something else, discover more countries. Maybe I will get my Masters’ here. I’m definitely going to come back, at least as a tourist. I really like this country. I think I might love to live here, but I’ll see how my life goes.”

Ema is considered a senior here, but a junior in Serbia.

“When I go back, I’ll have one more year of high school. The final exam is pretty much the same (as Lena’s). You have one test that everybody takes; no retakes. It’s in the summer. We have Serbian or literature, then we have English. We have math, and you can choose another language. For me it’s German.”

Ema and Lena have friends and acquaintances in the exchange student program in other parts of the country. Most of the stories they hear from them are positive; kids are adapting well in their temporary American homes and enjoying their time here. Some, however, have gotten so homesick that they’ve had to go home. Ema and Lena have enjoyed their time here, but there are still moments of loneliness that creep in.

“Even though I thought I was prepared, when you come here you feel so empty inside,” said Ema. “Even though you’re surrounded by so many people that want to help you and meet you and find out about your country. But I miss my family and my friends and it’s just not the same city. It’s so different. You can’t really prepare for that feeling.”

Holly Powell has been a coordinator for World Link for several years and says just about every student she has worked with has those feelings at some point. It’s inevitable.  

“It’s work. It really is. And it’s hard,” she said. “But these kids are the best of the best. It’s difficult to come here and do this and have all the adjustments. I’m always so proud of these kids for coming and doing these things. They’re just amazing. None of us know; how would we feel if we had to go to a different country and have to be thrown in for an entire year? It would be hard.”

Ema is staying with Shay Formanek and Cole Dannewitz and Lena’s temporary host family has been Bill and Karen Fitzgerald. She is looking for a permanent host family for the second semester.